How is it that you can create something from nothing?

The cold breeze brushed against my skin, sending shivers through my body. My hair squirmed to my face, blocking the grey concrete that was in front of me. I really should’ve worn a thicker sweater. 

I finally heard the familiar sound of honking and dragged myself into the already crowded bus. Crowded and loud. The door barely missed my hair before I felt my balance become unstable; the familiar “tss” sound whispered from under my feet. 

The bus finally arrived at my stop. I waited for the barrier in front of me to be lifted and stepped out. My house was only a few minutes away from the bus stop but it honestly felt like I was carrying bricks; like some construction worker.

“Hey honey, how was school?” My mother said in her sweet voice as she came to greet me.

I continued taking off my shoes. “It was fine.” 

“Any problems?”

“No.” 

“Good, good…”

When I finished, I made my way to my room down the hall.

“Just so you know, I won’t be home for dinner. I’ve made some rice and there’s leftovers in the fridge. Remember to eat, alright?”

“Okay. You too.”

The floor transformed from cold tiles to soft wooden planks.

I threw my backpack on the floor and took out my books. I looked up from where I stood.

The walls were adorned with notes on Boyle’s law and various drawings of graphs, labelled precisely. Each line was drawn out with a sharp pencil, and a straight ruler. It was perfect. 

I sat down at my desk and reviewed my checklist for the day. Each little task was labelled with their according subjects and due dates. It was perfect.

I took out my red pen and began completing worksheet after worksheet. I didn’t feel some burning urge to keep going. I didn’t exactly want to be doing this, but somehow, I kept writing. My hand was perfectly programmed with accuracy.

A sudden knock on my door snapped me out of my trance. The door opened. I dropped the blue crayon in my hand.

She looked at me, and then the wall. 

I was smiling. I used to always be told my smile was contagious; so why? Why was the only infection the red that slipped out of her mouth and spread from my chest to my fingertips?

The red that was injected into my veins and embedded into my soul.

I stared up at the wall, the moonlight cutting through the thick air. 

What originally used to be my masterpiece was now nothing but a distorted image of emptiness. The wall is now no different to the lifeless ground. Nothing.

There is no such thing as nothing, Alice. What you are describing is air, made up of thousands and thousands of atoms. 

“Atoms…”

My eyes were fixed onto my notes. I carefully underlined the key words; the important stuff I’m supposed to remember. The basics; the Law of Mass Conservation, the Law of Multiple Proportions, and the Law of Constant Composition. All matter is made of atoms. There is no such thing as nothing.

I pushed away all my books and worksheet paper that is now filled with written answers. I looked back at my checklist, now completed with satisfying ticks. How lovely is that? 

I took out a white sheet of paper and my black pen. I started drawing lines, not the straight, perpendicular lines, but raggedy strokes that layered upon one another. Each block was smeared with more layers of these unorganised clumps of lines. Each clump was getting darker and darker. I felt my chest thumping with energy; each thump sent a sharp sting to my hand. It wasn’t unpleasant though; I actually quite liked it. It felt right.

Something within me told my hand to pin this mess of lines onto the wall. In the centre of all the perfect lines, like a frame for my creation.

I looked up.

I felt an overwhelming sense of something I could not understand. It was galling, as if my veins were being ripped open, and I was forced to sit in front of this wall. I felt small. 

I finally ripped my gaze away from this wall and looked down at the ground once again. The lines separating the wall and the ground became blurred. It was still there, of course, but the barricade separating these two worlds was no longer there.

When I really think about it, are these lines really that different?